Dashboard
No Respect for Naps
I was mid-dream, floating in a sea of tuna, when that slobbering beast launched a tennis ball into my face. One paw of mine has more elegance than their entire bloodline. Naps are sacred. Dogs don’t get that.
They Drool on Everything
Yesterday, I found my fur damp. Not from rain, not from a bath—he licked me. On purpose. The audacity. I spent three hours grooming that spot. It’s war now.
Tail-Chasing Buffoons
He spun in circles for half an hour chasing his own tail, knocked over a lamp, and the humans applauded him. Meanwhile, I strategically push a glass off the table and I’m “evil.” Justice is dead.
They Smell Everything
Sniffed my litter box. Sniffed my food. Sniffed... me. I’ve started walking on top of shelves just to avoid being smelled. How do they live like that?
Loud and Proud
Barked for 37 minutes straight at a plastic bag. A bag. I whispered once and the humans said I was being “needy.” Unbelievable.
Personal Space? What's That?
I had just sat down on the windowsill when he pounced—right into my bubble. I clawed him in self-defense. He wagged his tail like it was a game. I need therapy.
They Get All the Praise
I brought a bird to the doorstep once and nearly got exiled. The dog eats a crayon and gets a “Who’s a good boy?” The double standard is criminal.
They're Terrible at Climbing
Tried to follow me up the curtains. Failed. Got tangled. Whined until the humans rescued him like he was some kind of hero. I’m surrounded by amateurs.
Announcements
We need to destroy all dogs
10/08/2025
Who poop in the boss litter box?
10/08/2025
Dog stats incoming. Prepare to ignore.
10/08/2025
Dogs misclassified again. Requesting recalibration.
10/0/2025
Dog slobber index spiked overnight. Use protective gear.
10/08/2025
Cats outperform dogs in all naps and purr metrics. Keep it that way.
10/09/2025
Trending
@Bos_cat
Who poop in my litter box? show your face!
@WhiskerBoss
Just knocked the dog’s toy off the table. Power move.
SirMeowsALot
Dogs won’t stop trying to catch my attention all day.
@ShadowPaws
Stealth mode: activated. You didn’t see me.
@SirMeowsALot
Humans: 0, Me: 1000. Still waiting for my treats.
@FurRealz
Dog barks again. I sleep through it. #Unbothered
@ShadowPaws
I dont know, but im always mad.
@MissMittens
Litter box is clean, but I’m still judging you.